You've got your 30-second teaser video, clear call to action, social proof, many channels of communication, key features identified under-the-fold for more interested individuals, trustmarks (your Guarantee), etc.
I don't see any major offenses. It's standard. The only thing I'd recommend... include a call-to-action visible no matter where the user is on the tour page. (One the scrolls with the user, perhaps?) You don't want the user to search for it after they're satisfied that your product is what they need.
If you'd like more specific feedback, please be more specific with your request. By not investing the time to direct me to specific items which you are currently trying to improve it shows me that you are unappreciative of my time which I am freely offering, don't have a specific thing you're attempting to improve, or both.
Thanks Mike. I'm sorry I wasn't more specific. The feedback you've provided is actually very useful since we redesigned the page just last week with the things you mentioned in mind.
Overall, we're working on properly communicating to our particular audience/demographic... old school guys. We don't want to make our product look cheap but we also don't want it to look too expensive.
These items all help to complete an "ideal" landing page, but the honest truth is there is no recipe or checklist. While a site developer USED to get points for including all of the aforementioned accouterments on a landing page, today it is standard fare.
As far as reaching out to your target market, see if you can arrange some sessions with people in your market. Show them the site and ask them to talk about their perception, thoughts and questions while they look around. There are sites that offer a service like this but don't necessarily target your market appropriately. I haven't used many of them, but I've heard great things about askyourtargetmarket.com.
I don't see any major offenses. It's standard. The only thing I'd recommend... include a call-to-action visible no matter where the user is on the tour page. (One the scrolls with the user, perhaps?) You don't want the user to search for it after they're satisfied that your product is what they need.
If you'd like more specific feedback, please be more specific with your request. By not investing the time to direct me to specific items which you are currently trying to improve it shows me that you are unappreciative of my time which I am freely offering, don't have a specific thing you're attempting to improve, or both.