One of my favorite lifelong traditions has been to check out the local library, which sells donated books for 50¢. My family had no education, no connections or friends, basically nothing but a hard work ethic. So for me the library was a gateway to priceless knowledge and stories that I had neither the means nor know-how to acquire otherwise. Thanks to that library I was able to build up a modest but decent library by high school, with books about Roman and Greek philosophy, obscure but outstanding Sci-Fi and Fantasy books, and even anthropology. It always feels so fateful and serendipitous to have a gem come to me through such a spontaneous, unplanned path.
One of these books was "Never in Anger", by Jean Briggs, which I knew would be at least mentioned in the article as soon as I read the title of this link. It's really an outstanding book if you have any interest in anthropology and getting a somewhat inside look at other cultures.
I could quote the whole article, but this section captures a sentiment I took away from the book:
> Even just showing a smidgen of frustration or irritation was considered weak and childlike, Briggs observed.
> For instance, one time someone knocked a boiling pot of tea across the igloo, damaging the ice floor. No one changed their expression. "Too bad," the offender said calmly and went to refill the teapot.
> In another instance, a fishing line — which had taken days to braid — immediately broke on the first use. No one flinched in anger. "Sew it together," someone said quietly.
Since childhood I've been in love with philosophies like Stoicism and Buddhism and worked hard to practice emotional regulation in my daily life. I've at least improved my own abilities, regardless of how that may compare with others. But I've never seen such an admirable implementation as the people covered in "Never in Anger". I've tried adopting their approach in my own life, but it definitely takes a long time to learn how to really control your anger, rather than just suppress it and convince yourself it's controlled.
I highly recommend anybody interested in my comment or the article just go ahead and read the whole book, it's really an excellent work. And if you have any other suggestions, please recommend them. I've already added Brigg's second book, "Inuit Morality Play", to my reading list after seeing it mentioned in the article.
I wonder whether the Inuit aversion to anger is a cultural adaptation to living in close proximity to others through long winters when sulking off to one's own room or house isn't possible.
In the boiling water and fishing line examples above, it doesn't seem like anger would serve much of a practical, social purpose—it's more important to fix problems, maintain working relationships with friends and family, and continue to survive Arctic conditions.
However, modulated anger _does_ serve an important purpose in larger, less tightly coupled societies. Disengaged employees—contractors, fast food workers—are much more responsive to anger or the the threat of anger than to nuanced conversation.
I grew up in a household in which yelling and anger were taboo—it wasn't necessary for anyone's work and it detracted from our quality of life. I didn't understand the emotion's utility until I married into a family that owns a small restaurant empire. The empire would crumble without occasional yelling at vendors, government administrators, employees, managers, and so forth. It took years for me to admit that utility, but I'm still not comfortable with it.
One of these books was "Never in Anger", by Jean Briggs, which I knew would be at least mentioned in the article as soon as I read the title of this link. It's really an outstanding book if you have any interest in anthropology and getting a somewhat inside look at other cultures.
I could quote the whole article, but this section captures a sentiment I took away from the book:
> Even just showing a smidgen of frustration or irritation was considered weak and childlike, Briggs observed.
> For instance, one time someone knocked a boiling pot of tea across the igloo, damaging the ice floor. No one changed their expression. "Too bad," the offender said calmly and went to refill the teapot.
> In another instance, a fishing line — which had taken days to braid — immediately broke on the first use. No one flinched in anger. "Sew it together," someone said quietly.
Since childhood I've been in love with philosophies like Stoicism and Buddhism and worked hard to practice emotional regulation in my daily life. I've at least improved my own abilities, regardless of how that may compare with others. But I've never seen such an admirable implementation as the people covered in "Never in Anger". I've tried adopting their approach in my own life, but it definitely takes a long time to learn how to really control your anger, rather than just suppress it and convince yourself it's controlled.
I highly recommend anybody interested in my comment or the article just go ahead and read the whole book, it's really an excellent work. And if you have any other suggestions, please recommend them. I've already added Brigg's second book, "Inuit Morality Play", to my reading list after seeing it mentioned in the article.