This is right. The startup party scene largely acts as an echo-chamber. However, there are a few events out there that are designed around meeting people instead of pimping a particular company. Super Happy Dev House is a good example: It's mostly full of people that like building things but aren't brogrammers.

To find the quiet, experienced, skilled, well-adjusted people that aren't out drinking/partying once a week you have to actively seek them out while working. If you meet anyone like this, stay in touch. They are, by definition, not out there at events.